Sea Sick

I feel like I am riding in a very narrow boat on a wide and randomly stormy sea. Today, I spoke with a representative from the office of the PA Speaker of the House. She informed me that many of our rights appeared violated, though she had no proof. And it is interesting that our mortgage company has been sued for discrimination against Hispanics in many more states than our own.

I have no idea where this will lead us. My prayer, and please pray with us, that we can simply offer the deed over and be able to offer some other family a beautiful new home to live in affordably. The attorneys - who refuse to mail us our reinstatement amount, which would allow us to stay in our home - are charging us $41.00 a day. Already, they have been working against us for more than 20 days. We did not even know they existed until they had already charged us several hundred dollars for two weeks. No one informed us of anything.

Some nights I go to sleep praising God that He simply loves us all enough to offer us His life. And other nights, my husband tells me, that directly after making both the Western and Eastern Sign of the Cross, I grind my teeth so sharply in my sleep that he prays that I won't bite off my tongue or break a tooth.

I have this sense of numbness now, like I am experiencing things from the outside of my own world. People stop me and ask me about the situation and I can actually speak about it as though it is someone else who is living through this. Perhaps, it is a survival mechanism of some kind. My pal, MT - the world's greatest shrink - could probably verify this for me.

But in the end, when I have awakened in the morning and have a strong cup of Swedish coffee in my hand, I am aware once again that God is the Reality that is more real than the world I touch every day.

Somehow, we are alive and well and will get through all of this. Glory to God for All Things...as every Orthodox I know says. Glory Be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit...as all Romans I know say.