Almost Over

For those of who have kept up recently, it has been one heck of a rough summer. Thank God for great books, Divine Liturgy, good pizza, buckets of coffee, vitamins, and friends. Lots of great friends who are really family without the genetic screw-ups.

Anyway, today, I met with an attorney to speak with him about this sudden foreclosure (less than 60 days from threat to actual sheriff sale) to see if there was anything we could really do. I was greeted at the door by a friendly Doberman who led me to an oversized fluffy leather couch where I immediately recognized the secretary and said, "I have seen you before!"

Turns out, I am friends with her identical twin sister - who I was just thinking of and praying for today over morning coffee. The secretary promised to relay my good wishes to her sister - my pal and her twin - as soon as she got home from work that night and could call her.

The attorney was friendly. He immediately shook my hand and said,

"You guys are doing the right thing. You have a strong payment history. You worked hard to keep your mortgage company informed of struggles you were having. You sought out certified financial counseling. You are very frugal. You are selling the home. There is nothing more for you to do," he said looking across the table from me. "And this should probably not be happening to you."

"But this is all happening so fast," I insisted. "Is that legal?"

He said it was, that the foreclosure is ocurring in record time, because it is the most economical response from the point of view of the mortgage company.

"This will effect your credit, but it won't rock it like some foreclosures would. It's not that kind of a foreclosure. It's not the end of the world, and it is clear that you have done all you can. That matters."

He gave me some more advice, shook my hand again, told me we would be okay, refused to take a dime for the consultation, and then wished me a great week. His dog followed me to the door and begged me to toss around a dog bone with him.

I drove home relieved.

It's almost over. It's not fun. It is not without a great amount of stress. It has been painful. I cried last night like some freak, because I realized we had a home that we will never be going back to. The home holds a lot of our memories over the past four years. That is all that hurts anymore. But even that is fading. I never knew I could muster up a backbone so fast, or rather, that Our Lord could create one in me just when I really needed it.

It really is All of Him and None of Me.

The attorney and his dog are right - there are more important things in life that the home that is soon no longer to be ours, and we did all we could. And we didn't neglect our responsibilities. Things just happen. And God always does All- which is so much more than our unperfected minds can fathom. So much more. The picture I see today is not the real picture. I see only a shadow of a shadow. A sliver of a color. But not the whole picture, and so I believe this to be about us surviving the shocking and sudden foreclosure of our house, but it is about even more than that. This is something big that has something to do with the salvation of our souls. Grace is the center of this experience. And that is all my small human brain can comprehend. And so I must trust that this was allowed for some much greater purpose.

All things work together for the good of those who love God and who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

You lose some and you win some. I feel like we have won. We are together. We have friends. We can go to Church on Sundays and celebrate Movie Night in our new living room - rented to us by our dear friends who come down the street to give us zucchinis and tomatoes from their garden. And prayers. We have a ton of prayers surrounding us and they have encouraged us to pray even more. And through it all we have realized the much greater needs of others, and through Grace, we know we are saved - and not by anything else.

He has won, because He is and was and is to come, and what is not nearly as important is nearly over now...and life begins anew each day.