Sisters of the Church - True Story!

Definitions:

Cradle/Cradler - To be born into a faith. Example: A cradle Catholic or Orthodox never had to convert to Orthodoxy or Catholicism because they were born into their faiths.

Convert: An adult who converted to a new faith. Example: Too easy. No example needed.

Recently, I have been able to have a beautiful conversation with a cradle Orthodox about the Eucharist. It has been such a blessing to me, and to her. She is far from an Orthodox church where she lives and finds absolutely very little in common with her Bible Belt neighbors. Not that they are not kind to her, but they just do not fast regularly or use the words "liturgical season" very often. And she is unable to take the Eucharist very often, as she has only Catholic churches near her. The opposite of my recent predicament with Orthodoxy. Come to think of it, strangely, I have had this kind of very pleasant exchange with more than one cradle Orthodox recently - the inability to get to the Eucharist regularly, but not for lack of want.

I completely understand their pain, and what is cool, is that no other faith can fully grasp this kind of longing for the Eucharist.

This recent personal Orthodox/Roman conversation is significant, because I have had many a slap in the face from converts to Orthodoxy in the past couple of years. The converts don't mean to appear cruel. This is the convert's last intention. But this is the result of much of their anti-Catholic remarks.

AKA: Really Evangelicals in Eastern disguise.

Love them. Do not love the sharp Protestant smell their Fire and Brimstone approach often gives off at Mass (or Divine Liturgy), where they are always ready to correct the priest on his "watered down homily" or "wrong offering of the Eucharist". Not that they are incrrect. Most of the time they are 100% right. It's just that they talk like the return to what-should-be is so very simple and "duh!" and somehow their recent invasion has nothing to do with the push against Catholicism to embrace Vatican II. They were the ones who incouraged us to speak in tongues and instructed our small groups....Now when they convert, looking for the Early Church, they treat us like half-witted foreigners who think the statue of Mary in our living room does our laundry when we are asleep at night.

And I am certain that the Orthodox Church is forever grateful for their numbers as well and their sincere fervency. I know they have similar distress though. We Romans are grateful for their conversion as well, because they create all our apologetics material and our nifty websites and TV programs. And I think their constant desire to spread the Gospel even in the grocery store is what we Catholics need - seriously need. But it is not always easy having them in our ranks. We Romans get a little tired of their slappings of us. They have no other enemies. They are kind of like bitter drill seargants who just got demoted to train kindergarten failures.

The cradlers though - the Orthodox naturally - they have become some of my best "Catholic" pals. I say "Catholic", because as a Roman, we are to consider them part of the Church as well. They - officially in Constantinople and Moscow - may not consider us familia, but we consider them as such. Valid Sacraments and all. Legitimate and same Eucharist. The only other place where Christ is fully present in His Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity.

Anyway, even when lifelong Orthodox say something that is contrary to Catholic teaching (not very often) it does NOT rub me even slightly the wrong way, as in this beautiful conversation I have had via email with a cradle Orthodox pal. I don't care when they disagree with me. It's never a problem.

We are sisters in the Church, and even though it may tick off a few old men in vestments in both of our worshipping locations, we refer to ourselves as such. We began in the exact same location 2000 years ago. We accept the same Eucharist each Sunday.

And we are the only ones who do.

So why did I not become Orthodox?

Because of all the darn Evangelicals who have invaded the place with their anti-Catholic ideas still fully, and sometimes even more ferociously, intact than before their conversion. This happens even in Roman Catholicism with Evangelical converts to Rome. True story.

They enter with the Evangelical belief that they are privy to some secret contract with Jesus that the rest of the world does not have. Even as Roman Catholics, they often treat cradle Catholics as though they are the ignorant slugs who need their Evangelical wisdom and intelligence imparted to them. It is often as though we original Romans are morons and the original Protesters are the geniuses of the Faith who have arrived to make everything better, shinier, and less "special ed". Now don't go sending me emails about making fun of special ed. I have a son with special needs, and this is exactly how I feel Evangelical converts to even my own Rome treat cradle Catholics: As though we are in need of a hand-holding when we cross the street to Mass.

"This is how it should be done, and now that I am here, I can explain it all to you. Thank God that my clear Evangelical thinking has been reluctantly dragged over to your slow Catholic thinking."

And they are often the bane of my Catholic existence. I guess this is the thing that "sends me to the bin" as my old pal, Fr. Straka would say, more than any other confessional item.

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned in my angry thoughts toward the know-it-all Evangelical converts to Catholicism again..."

Father always sighs - any father - and says, "I know they are hard to deal with..." I have had more than one - Catholic and Orthodox - priest say to me, "Sometimes I am not certain they are always good for our future. Sometimes we spend a lot of time cleaning up the pain they cause in our parishes."

True story.

And I don't say this because I believe them to be evil or wrong or bad in their conversion. I want that everyone, even the Orthodox, can unite with Rome and become One Church again. I just think their personal lesson should be to leave the "holier than thou" former Evangelical attitude inside the bin where I leave my cradle Catholic "what's it to them!" fighting Irish anger management methods.

Not all converts are like this. Some come with the very pleasant attitude of, "What the heck is going on here? This is all totally new to me?"

Nice.

Because this means they are really Catholic or finally Orthodox. Because this is how the Saints were from the moment they began to serve Christ. Completely unworthy.

And this is the reason we Catholics drink so often, I am fully convinced. Not because we are these lovers of sin, but because we realize how little is in our control, how much bigger God is than our mediocre human existence, how much we fall short of even an inch of His glory. Again, our coping mechanisms are old world - 2000 year old world. We need instruction in this area, but we don't need the missal handed to us in a Dick and Jane reading fashion.

And so it has been really nice sharing emails from a cradle Orthodox - rouge sister of the Church - who has the same hang ups and trials as a dumb Roman might have. Nice. Refreshing like a huge water ice at a hot church festival in the dirty parking lot. She makes the converts so much easier to take in at a sudden Catholic Bible study.